Saturday, May 5, 2007

Barb Wire (1996)

Well, after watching something intelligent, well-made and thought-provoking, I thought I'd had just about enough of that, and thus, here I am watching Barb Wire.

I apologize if the film has affected me more than I realize:

an awesom remake of some crappy old movie called Casa Blanco or something, I don't know, this movie was KICKFUCKINGASS! HOLY SHIT THERE WAS SO MUCH ACTION AND AWESOMENESS I COUDNT EVEN TAKE IT!

seriusly man, this movie is just fuckin awesom from start to finish

it starts off and rite off the bat its awesome because the first like 5 minutes is pam hottie anderson dancin around with her tits hangin out [EDITOR'S NOTE: It is quite generous to refer to Ms. Anderson's breasts as "hanging" anywhere] and then she totaly throws a shoe rite thru this dudes head its sick and then she saves this chick and kills sum other dude wit a cigarete blowdart shit and then she goes and shows off her tits more in some sexy ass outfits and she goes back to this kickass club she owns wit her crazy german butler n her blind ass brother and then this dude comes in and i dont really remember alot of the middle but then later she makes a deal wit this fat black dude [EDITOR'S NOTE: This site makes no designations of race or class distinctions] and she beats sum dudes asses n they kill her brother but she gets em back and has a kickass motorcycle and they fight wit the dudes at this warehouse and the shit blows up in this huge ass explosion

all in all it was super kickass

Terrible, but never boring: 5/10; Amusingly enough, it wasn't even the THIRD-worst film of its given year, 1996, which has three gems in Bio-Dome, Kazaam and the stunningly horrid Adrenalin: Fear the Rush

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great review! Hilarious! Thanks for the laughs.
Never saw the movie but now I'm eagerly awaiting the opportunity. Anything for 'hanging out' things, LOL.

Great photos as well, as usual. Kudos!